What is it about public speaking that makes people panic, pass out, or feign sickness or death to get out of it? Doing a wedding speech can be even worse - add a few drinks, and the insane nervousness already surrounding the event, and the speech will probably come out sounding like you have a scoop of peanut butter in your mouth.

Working in the wedding industry for many years, I have heard many best men, bridesmaids, fathers and mothers botch their wedding speech, or say something so off topic or strange that a dead silence fell over the room. In all fairness, it's a tough gig being a toastmaster or speech giver for a wedding. You may have been asked months or even years in advance, answering in a nonchalant "yes" kind of way, not considering that you will be sweating through your tuxedo from the anxiety once the day came around.

In all fairness, speaking in public is a skill mastered by a very few. Even the most seasoned public speakers get nervous right before they go on. I remember hearing an interview with Johnny Carson, where he explained that even in the later years of his show, in the moment just before the curtains opened before the live audience, he was as nervous as he was the first time. However, as soon as he jumped out there on stage, he was 'in the moment' and as confident as could be.

In the times that I have had to speak in public, or in front of a crowd, have had the same experience - Fear and high anxiety just before, but once I started, it all seemed to fall into place. Many people are like this, but there are those who get up to speak, and it's truly painful to listen to. I have even seen people who were scheduled to speak "bail out" right after taking the microphone because they were too nervous.

What everyone wants to know is how do the best wedding speeches get made and how do people deliver them without looking foolish, or sounding stupid? There are several things that you can do to prepare.

1) First, don't drink too much (unless it's water) before you go on. There's nothing worse than a slurred wedding speech.

2) If you think you might be too nervous to talk for long, make the speech short (and heartfelt). Everyone listening to speeches of any type usually secretly appreciate a short speech.

3) Make sure your speech is in your own words. If people know you, they'll know if you ripped off your thoughts and words from a book. Of course, there are many good wedding speech books out there that can act as a great guide for you, but make sure that ultimately what you say is how YOU would say it.

4) If you have to make a speech, do some exercise several hours before you go on. This is a great way to burn off some of that anxiety that has been brewing.

5) Practice in front of family or friends beforehand

6) Bring your speech on paper with easily readable bullet points. Know your speech "for the most part" by memory, and prompt yourself with your bullet points if you lose track. This way it won't seem like you are simply "reading" a speech.

There are a lot of great guides out there to help you to fine-tune your wedding speechmaking skills. I have included some of them on this page.